DESCRIPTIVE REFLECTION
Professor Blackstone,
Good day to you!
I am writing this to introduce myself to you as one of your first-year engineering students in your UCS1001 class. My name is Ivy Lim and I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in biomedical engineering (BME) in 2021. I worked as a technical officer in the BME department of a hospital before I decided to further my studies and obtain a degree.
Before my polytechnic journey, I did not know which career path is suitable for me, but I wanted to try to work in any jobs relating to healthcare, which was why I applied for different healthcare related courses across all polytechnics in Singapore. In 2021, the year I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, there was still an outbreak of COVID-19, and getting a placement in university was a challenge. Thus, I decided to apply for a full time job that was related to my course. After working there for almost two years, I decided to further my studies in an engineering course, so I would have a chance to enter research and development (R&D) as I feel there is still potential for improvements to recent medical devices.
I had my primary and secondary education from Malaysia, hence, my strength in communication is being cultural sensitive. Growing up in a multiracial country and having friends from different ethnic backgrounds is fun but there is a need to be aware of sensitive topics. By being cultural sensitive, I can make people around me feel more comfortable and respected. My weakness in communication is having low confidence when speaking. When I am speaking, I tend to have a habit of using linguistic blend in my sentences, which made my sentences harder to understand. It is always a pull-back when having discussions or when I need to speak up.
My goals in this module are to refine my grammar and to boost my confidence in speaking. Grammatical errors are often seen in my writings as I tend to directly translate sentences from Mandarin or Malay into English. Besides, using wrong tenses and words can make my writings look unorganised. I feel proper grammar is important in writing, especially when stepping into the working environment, where not only do we write for our colleagues, but also for partners outside the organisations as well. I also want to improve the way I speak and enunciate my words as I tend to not speak clearly sometimes, which lowers my confidence when I want to speak or to bring out my points and thoughts on certain things.
Thank you so much for your time and I am eagerly waiting for your feedback!
Best Regards,
Ivy Lim
Lots of interesting info here, Ivy!
ReplyDeleteI'll write in more detail once your blogging buddies have given you feedback. Thank you!
Hi Ivy,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog and appreciate your detailed and organized email. I can relate to your experience of facing challenges while trying to get a placement at university, and I commend you for working hard for two years to achieve your goal.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, and I hope we get more opportunities to work together as a team.
Best regards,
Brenda
Hi Brenda, I hope we can work together soon!
DeleteHey Ivy!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your background and goals in such detail. It's clear that you have a strong foundation in biomedical engineering and valuable practical experience in the field. Your experience as a technical officer in the BME department adds depth to your profile. In my opinion, instead of stating weaknesses outright, consider framing them as areas for growth. For example, instead of saying, "My weakness in communication is having low confidence when speaking," you can rephrase it as "I aim to enhance my confidence in verbal communication." Your awareness of cultural sensitivity is an excellent attribute, and it's great that you recognize the importance of making people feel comfortable and respected. I appreciate your openness in sharing your goals for this module!
Hi Hidayat, it's a good idea on how I can rephrase my sentence. Thanks for the recommendation!
DeleteHi Ivy,
ReplyDeleteThe letter is well-written and provides a clear and detailed introduction of yourself. Your resilience in the face of the impacts of COVID-19 on your studies, yet your refusal to give up, is commendable. I hope that you would be able to enter the R&D field in the future!
Thank you, Gareth!
DeleteHello, i think your letter provides a very detailed introduction of yourself, but there are a lot of run-on sentences and your tenses are a bit wonky. I recommend using grammarly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Faiz for your recommendation.
DeleteHello Ivy! 👋 Your introduction really resonated with me. I totally get the struggle of not knowing which path to take, but hey, here we are, just pushing forward,and that language thing you mentioned? I'm in the same boat. Mixing languages can be a bit tricky, especially when trying to explain things. It makes connecting with others a bit challenging, but let's hope we can work on it and boost our confidence together in this class. Your letter was organized well, easy to follow, and your language use was genuine and relatable. Looking forward to the journey ahead!
ReplyDeleteHi Celine, let us continue to work hard and be better. looking forward to work with you.
DeleteDear Ivy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this well developed and fascinating letter. You do a fine job of addressing the letter prompt with substantiated examples and explanations. I especially appreciate learning about your background in terms of prior study and work, and it's interesting to learn your views on having a broad cultural and linguistic perspective. Your seasoned experience is a boon to our class and it should provide great support for your team's project work.x
Your language use in this letter is fluent, but there are a few areas to consider:
1. sentence structure
-- I had my primary and secondary education from Malaysia, hence, my strength in communication is being cultural sensitive. > (comma splice) ?
2. word use
-- By being cultural sensitive, > By being culturally sensitive,
-- linguistic blend? > meaning? Is this related to mixing Mandarin and English?
3. verb tense
-- When I am speaking, I tend to have a habit of using linguistic blend in my sentences, which made my sentences harder to understand. > (tense consistency?) ?
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Hi Prof,
DeleteI understand on suggestions/mistakes that you have pointed out. I will definitely focus and be mindful of it.
Thank you for your encouragements and feedback!